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Sunday 12 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57735) - you deserved it (10791)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47657) - you deserved it (10613)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40637) - you deserved it (10202)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (9571)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (9420)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (9279)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39212) - you deserved it (9259)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (9243)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (9077)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (8986)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (8742)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (8670)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49257) - you deserved it (8662)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)



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