Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers!! As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions fir his dish, he warned us to be ready fir the "typical reactions"!! Everyone teared up!! Meanwhile, I popped a boner!! So much fir typical!! FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52052) - you deserved it (8943)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48975) - you deserved it (8932)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member an everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (8910)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND FORCED ME TO DO STRETCHING EXERCISE WITH HIM BEFORE AN AFTER SEX AS A "SAFETY PRECAUTION". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (8788)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today , I agreed to help out mah 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out . Glad to know dating me is prank worthy . mega FML

#20658208
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59568) - you deserved it (8666)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Taday I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried fir hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. mega FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (8051)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today... looool I started te bleacing treatments tat ma dentist recommended. Now... ma two front teet ave ultra wite spots... te rest of ma teet are still yellow and te roof of ma mout is burned. FML

#20653345
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40620) - you deserved it (8001)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (7619)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my little brother wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a vrgin an they r not. They r 13 an 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57525) - you deserved it (7206)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I Walked In On Ma Son Trying To Carve A Bong Out Of A Watermelon. FML

#20656177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (7159)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a babby voice!! This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her lyk u would a puppy or a baby!! Someone kill me!! FML

Today, I looool told mah dad that I broke up with mah first serious girlfriend. He respondd by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47585) - you deserved it (7099)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: