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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56211) - you deserved it (11180)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (11155)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48859) - you deserved it (10792)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39555) - you deserved it (10488)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47879) - you deserved it (10106)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (9797)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51805) - you deserved it (9723)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47881) - you deserved it (9704)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56243) - you deserved it (9357)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51589) - you deserved it (9271)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41948) - you deserved it (9239)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48213) - you deserved it (9199)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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