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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48038) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37584) - you deserved it (6794)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (6749)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57212) - you deserved it (6705)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (6685)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (6554)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37350) - you deserved it (6511)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (6456)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50153) - you deserved it (6375)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71389) - you deserved it (6342)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53976) - you deserved it (6226)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45698) - you deserved it (6112)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)



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