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Saturday 27 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (6554)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48504) - you deserved it (6507)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (6432)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51594) - you deserved it (6383)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41410) - you deserved it (5814)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (5808)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

#20615372
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47051) - you deserved it (5674)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML

#20612336
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (5529)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:06am - love - by And you think I'M crazy? (woman) - United States

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (5391)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (5139)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (5128)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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