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Thursday 18 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86130) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (4477)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (4309)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

#20604478
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55215) - you deserved it (4297)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (4270)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50212) - you deserved it (4216)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (4176)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56876) - you deserved it (4130)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

#20615089
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49159) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/23/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47306) - you deserved it (4025)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59277) - you deserved it (3991)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52773) - you deserved it (3951)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45536) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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