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Thursday 18 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54365) - you deserved it (5842)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42251) - you deserved it (5816)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML

#20612336
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49209) - you deserved it (5796)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:06am - love - by And you think I'M crazy? (woman) - United States

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49564) - you deserved it (5708)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58642) - you deserved it (5694)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48549) - you deserved it (5668)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42090) - you deserved it (5653)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (5472)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57687) - you deserved it (5428)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (5296)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (5177)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50142) - you deserved it (5074)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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