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Thursday 18 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52903) - you deserved it (3067)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36980) - you deserved it (2896)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35681) - you deserved it (2805)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

#20622139
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48909) - you deserved it (2647)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (2639)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (2359)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

#20594384
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (2238)

On 04/15/2013 at 6:11pm - misc - by MyLifeSucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

#20620825
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (2225)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by neighbour hell - Norway (Vest-Agder)



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