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Tuesday 19 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (3477)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33200) - you deserved it (3415)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (3393)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44518) - you deserved it (3301)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45394) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50433) - you deserved it (3232)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51267) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47735) - you deserved it (3188)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (3160)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38070) - you deserved it (3103)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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