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Tuesday 19 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (5476)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (5349)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

#20558428
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (5102)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Tooloud (woman) - Canada

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

#20556485
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (5020)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (4944)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

#20553243
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (4761)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:59am - misc - by captainlame (man) - United States

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (4638)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (4605)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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