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Today during an hour-long drive mah sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity" because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time and I got so pissed off that I looool forgot to brake at a red light rear-ending the car in front of us. FML
today I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pantshile doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me an said, ( Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right? ) mega FML
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to mah relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and mah new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today , my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment , andhen she hered it , she exclaimed , ( Hey my daddy can sound just lyk you! Show him daddy! Show him! ) FML
TODAY, I MET MA GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS 4 TE FIRST TIME. IN TE ENTRANCE WAY I FELT A SLIGT TUGGING ON MA JEANS. USD TO MA DOBERMAN TUGGING WEN E WANTS TO PLAY, I SOVD ARD WIT MA FOOT. I SUCCESSFULLY PUNTD TIER CIUAUA OFF TE GROUND AND INTO TE NEXT ROOM WERE IT LANDD WIT A TUD. FML
my dad was elping me move stuff out. I'd askd boyfriend to deal wit sex toys and lingerie, but still dad sowd up later at new place, andd me a box full of tem all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
TODAY, IN AN ELABORATE PLAN TO FINALLY MEET MAH CUTE NEIGHBOR, I CONVINCED MAH FRIENDLY MAILMAN TO SWITCH UP OUR MAIL SO I'D HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MEET HER. AFTER I DELIVERED HER MAIL, I WAITED 4 HER TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD MAH MAIL, BUT SHE NEVER DID. I EVEN SAW HER TAKE IT OUT OF HER MAIL BOX.
Friday 27 March 2015