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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (3067)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (2754)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (2753)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (2726)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21616) - you deserved it (2677)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (2533)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21421) - you deserved it (2518)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)



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