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Friday 27 March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (11708)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

#21381740
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15961) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/26/2015 at 5:53am - work - by Dwight Schrute - United States (California)

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (4049) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (3645)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (3508)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

#21381329
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (3145)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (3019)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (2995)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (2958)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (2695)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19267) - you deserved it (2532)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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