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Saturday 19 April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11999) - you deserved it (30627)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (20883)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10380) - you deserved it (17624)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
61 comments

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (9749)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

#21113382
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (9260)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:35am - work - by idontknowwhatiamdoing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (9035)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31464) - you deserved it (8840)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9499) - you deserved it (8864)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (7183)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21796) - you deserved it (6686)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32059) - you deserved it (5546)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)



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Friday 18 April 2014

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