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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (2696)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

#21438456
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32750) - you deserved it (2682)

On 07/08/2015 at 10:44am - love - by freshly single (woman) - Aruba

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (2677)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

#21446038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (2676)

On 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm - animals - by killjoyx - United States (Virginia)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22247) - you deserved it (2699)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

#21439964
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (2644)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:51am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9765) - you deserved it (2643)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

#21439620
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (2632)

On 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

#21445275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:20am - work - by Quortney - United States

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

#21436632
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (2571)

On 07/05/2015 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML



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