Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML

#21370976
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (3174)

On 03/09/2015 at 3:52am - love - by sadex -

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (3157)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (3131)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (3125)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (3067)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (3068)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29845) - you deserved it (3064)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

#21375425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (3061)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: