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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (3262)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (3210)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (3206)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (3203)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (3136)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (3095)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML

#21391357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (3070)

On 04/10/2015 at 4:19pm - love - by undanya__four (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

#21390474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (3062)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:55am - work - by jackzz - Vietnam (Dac Lac)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32040) - you deserved it (3034)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (3007)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (3011)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)



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