Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (3713)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (3670)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (3591)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (3562)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (3533)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (3459)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32530) - you deserved it (3397)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (3362)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
68 comments

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (3231)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
83 comments


FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: