Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (4185)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19771) - you deserved it (4115)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21408360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (3890)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (3875)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (3820)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

#21408859
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (3814)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (3711)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my boss' office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

#21414059
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (3705)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:44pm - work - by zheiraT - United States (Maine)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (3668)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30538) - you deserved it (3527)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: