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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

#21395798
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24180) - you deserved it (4017)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (3894)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (3792)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

#21393373
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27523) - you deserved it (3760)

On 04/14/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (3722)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiance and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

#21397047
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25529) - you deserved it (3722)

On 04/20/2015 at 7:55pm - kids - by ChildFree (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3635)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (3623)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31649) - you deserved it (3618)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (3558)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)



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