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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35787) - you deserved it (6003)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (5904)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (5853)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (5854)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40792) - you deserved it (5729)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45674) - you deserved it (5622)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (5620)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39955) - you deserved it (5493)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (5487)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (5419)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

#21102998
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (5355)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (5356)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)



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