Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (7577)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

#21398912
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17217) - you deserved it (7461)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Sexless from Texas - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (7403)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (6953)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (6892)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (6710)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (6546)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boss finally did something nice for me and bought me a coffee. By mistake I poured salt in it. To not be ungrateful, I drank it all in front of her. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (6142)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (5858)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: