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March 2015

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Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (9174)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

#21367736
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (8826)

On 03/04/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

#21367239
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (8644)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm - work - by badtiming (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

#21369995
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (8215)

On 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25759) - you deserved it (7872)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26362) - you deserved it (7798)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (7687)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (7681)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18823) - you deserved it (7450)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (7392)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like he and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

#21371753
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (7230)

On 03/10/2015 at 9:27am - misc - by oh well - United States



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