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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

#21455715
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (2432)

On 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm - kids - by stressedmom36 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

#21458464
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (2421)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

#21451813
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:19pm - animals - by whydoihavecats - United Kingdom

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

#21460573
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (2406)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

#21451858
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/04/2015 at 5:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

#21458446
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (2394)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by fuck you btichass cuntshit (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (2376)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

#21461576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (2355)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

#21457895
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (2332)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

#21459620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (2330)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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