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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (2030)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (2007)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29654) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (1953)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (1907)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (1856)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (1853)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

#21392314
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (1841)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (1837)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)



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