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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19098) - you deserved it (21859)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15423) - you deserved it (21262)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (18757)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (18702)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (12313)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

#21405133
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (11983)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by 420curse (man) - United States (California)

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (10789)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (10435)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (10398)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (9905)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (9847)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (9763)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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