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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16471) - you deserved it (77998)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (53996)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21902) - you deserved it (48989)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (48569)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (48114)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (48051)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (47427)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22065) - you deserved it (45168)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (44913)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (41973)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (41487)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (41451)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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