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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52185) - you deserved it (5571)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49456) - you deserved it (5522)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (5479)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69317) - you deserved it (5463)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (5437)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (5378)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42152) - you deserved it (5356)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (5277)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
72 comments

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56400) - you deserved it (5219) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41175) - you deserved it (5198)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

#21200186
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (5161)

On 07/06/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by x.x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52553) - you deserved it (5133)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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