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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69135) - you deserved it (5458)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (5411)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44932) - you deserved it (5363)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50150) - you deserved it (5348)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (5274)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40777) - you deserved it (5269)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (5260)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56256) - you deserved it (5215) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (5193)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

#21200186
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (5153)

On 07/06/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by x.x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51458) - you deserved it (5104)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51980) - you deserved it (5000)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (4980)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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