Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45088) - you deserved it (6307)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42094) - you deserved it (6286)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

#21209921
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (6286)

On 07/15/2014 at 5:24pm - health - by stinky breath - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (6265)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (6181)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (6152)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40489) - you deserved it (6145)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44843) - you deserved it (6078)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44290) - you deserved it (5757)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML

#21214465
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (5618)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (5607)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: