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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55975) - you deserved it (7619)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54174) - you deserved it (7616)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45881) - you deserved it (7577)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (7521)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

#21196800
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43036) - you deserved it (7520)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm - love - by thatsnotmyname - United States (Mississippi)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (7453)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55145) - you deserved it (7452)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44189) - you deserved it (7408)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44799) - you deserved it (7233)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50427) - you deserved it (7172)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (7156)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44289) - you deserved it (7137)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)



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