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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53403) - you deserved it (11080)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57014) - you deserved it (10919)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

#21225337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (10796)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm - work - by heatherfeather22 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

#21194507
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37755) - you deserved it (10621)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:12am - misc - by dillon (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (9939)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (9780)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40427) - you deserved it (9641)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (9604)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (9304)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57264) - you deserved it (9190)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML



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