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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (17481)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47256) - you deserved it (17011)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (16730)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (16427)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (16108)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (15810)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46386) - you deserved it (14716)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40666) - you deserved it (14530)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42911) - you deserved it (14521)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43285) - you deserved it (14469)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46495) - you deserved it (14295)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -



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