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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (3269)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (3258)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44745) - you deserved it (3126)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (3007)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (2956)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

#21225316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (2841)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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