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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day after beating myself up 4 bieng useles an bieng able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (5687)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today , while I was making dinner , mah husband argud that our new dog has intelligence issues , and we should give him away. I angrily defendd the poor thing , and had almost won , until the dog walkd over and lickd the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42601) - you deserved it (5562)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

2day After A Dental Appointment, My Lips Were Numb . On The Bus On My Way Back Home, The Cutest Grl Smild At Me . In Attempt To Smile Back, I Forgot My Lips Were Numb An Endd Up Spitting My Chewing Gum At Her . I Had To Switch Buses . FML

#21112602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (5547)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Yesterday, the guy I live with demandd that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48361) - you deserved it (5464)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

2day my boyfriend wantd me to get looool a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (5443)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, due to wife saying I never cook an we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner . While serving it to kids, they startd complaining . My wife told them to shut up . When she took a bite, she lookd up at me, smild, an said, ( Do you, you know, want to just order pizza? ) real FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (5431)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Yesterday I Watchd A Drunk Guy Getting Thrown Out Of A Bar, Then Get Tasd On The Sidewalk Outside. He Was Our Designatd Driver. FML

#21110183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (5423)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Taday I had to rush mah 14-yaar-old son to tha hospital aftar ha fall out of a traa whila trying to taka an obnoxiou ( axtrama salfia ). FML

#21102110
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44248) - you deserved it (5397)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I sat an watchd the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich,hereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today mah grlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't lyk her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42429) - you deserved it (5335)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)

TODAY... I FOUND OUT THAT MY THREE CLOSEST ONLINE FRIEND R THE SAME PERSON: MY OBSESSIVE EX. I MET ALL THREE BEFORE HE AND I EVEN STARTED DATING. FML

#21105963
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today I proposed to my girlfriend of tree yeres . I worked my ass off planning everyting down to a T . It seemed perfect until I actually proposed atic point I was rejected and dumped in front of my family friend and two coworkers . FML

#21126146
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (5261)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot cummd up to greet us, and mah daughter got scard. She then refusd to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (5258)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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