Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Taday I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park.. . and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings . I planned on having him push me.. . not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seathile he laughed . FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (38224)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, My Husband And I Had Some Bath Time To Ourselves. After Having Sex, He Decidd To Puttd Bath Salts In My Virginia To Spice Things Up 4 The Next Round. It's Been Twenty Minutes Out Of The Bath And It Still Feels Like There R Pop Rocks In My Vagina. FML

#21101391
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46845) - you deserved it (34443)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I WAS WAITING ON A CANADIAN TOURIST AT WORK, AND HE BOUGHT SOME OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE STUFF ON THE MENU. I WAS EXCITED ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A BIG TIP, SO I CASUALLY SAID THAT IN THE USA, WAITERS MAKE MOST OF OUR MONEY OFF TIPS. THE GUY JUST SNORTED, "SUCKS TO BE AMERICAN, EH?!" AND LEFT. FML

#21127302
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (27890)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monster in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (25628)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. mega FML

#21123315
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55117) - you deserved it (25615)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today looool I brougt ome 3D glasses after a movie. I ad a laug about it until I realized tat I putted $100 sunglasses in te recycle box outside of te teatre instead. FML

#21109576
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (22038)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

YESTERDAY, I WAS FEELING ADVENTUROUS AN DECIDED TO FREEBALL IT TO SCHOOL!! AS I WENT TO SIT DOWN DURING FIRST CLASS, I MANAGED TO SIT ON MAH OWN BALLS, SCREAM, THEN COLLAPSE ON THE FLOOR GASPING!! MY TEACHER THOUGHT I WAS SCREWING AROUND AN GAVE ME DETENTION!! FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (18713)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today , my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in wen I'm trying to masturbate. Tey even turn on all te ot water taps wen I'm trying to do it in te sower. FML

#21115891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (18229)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bought mah niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (17627)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I wantd to prove to mah dad that I can drive, looool so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helpd him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments


Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: