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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you deserved it (5918)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

#21124188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (5863)

On 04/27/2014 at 9:43am - love - by Amy (grossed out) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5800)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (5758)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47400) - you deserved it (5747)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45542) - you deserved it (5737)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41738) - you deserved it (5729)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (5712)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51121) - you deserved it (5709)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

#21126146
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53607) - you deserved it (5686)

On 04/29/2014 at 10:18am - love - by willstaysingle (man) -

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36790) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (5591)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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