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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (6229)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49481) - you deserved it (6227)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41934) - you deserved it (6096)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (6077)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49214) - you deserved it (6074)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (6064)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (5965)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63526) - you deserved it (5849)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (5845)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44444) - you deserved it (5804)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

#21105380
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (5797)

On 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (5790)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55384) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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