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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (38300)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47010) - you deserved it (34517)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65672) - you deserved it (32881)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

#21127302
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39545) - you deserved it (29065)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by yes, yes it does :( (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59712) - you deserved it (28470)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (25680)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

#21109576
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (22357)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34587) - you deserved it (18987)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47548) - you deserved it (18268)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (17656)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada



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