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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

#21078096
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (5548)

On 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by cubs44fan - United States (Indiana)

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

#21094928
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (5543)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (5532)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (5458)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67456) - you deserved it (5298)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

#21077438
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (5291)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38934) - you deserved it (5223)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45371) - you deserved it (5177)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38675) - you deserved it (5137)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42082) - you deserved it (5076)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)



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