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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63236) - you deserved it (8542)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

#21092507
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (8506)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:09am - health - by SeriouslyMakeItStop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
190 comments

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41140) - you deserved it (8378) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

#21080429
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (8324)

On 03/07/2014 at 10:41am - misc - by scaredypants123 - United States

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (8266)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

#21080378
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34957) - you deserved it (8163)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (7990)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41358) - you deserved it (7787)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42136) - you deserved it (7771)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

#21076752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (7766)

On 03/03/2014 at 10:55am - kids - by adopted (woman) - United States (New York)



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