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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (3014)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (2990)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41784) - you deserved it (2987)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38185) - you deserved it (2926)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37784) - you deserved it (2912)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

#21077397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34804) - you deserved it (2836)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37805) - you deserved it (2789)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)



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