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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (3100)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (3041)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (3022)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

#21077397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40285) - you deserved it (2996)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36182) - you deserved it (2989)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (2875)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)



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