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Today, I was throwing rocks into a pondhila our class was on a fiald trip. Tha taachar startd to pass around an old rara civil war bullat. As tha bullat got to ma, I thraw anothar rock in tha rivar, only to notica a rock in my hand and tha bullat gona. FML
yesterday while having a sneak through my brother's browser , I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entre family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy."
Today , I walkd into ma ouse wit a couple of friends and I saw ma grlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly askd er if se ad time to do a load of mine as well. Se scoffd and said , "Yea babe , I'll gladly do your laundry... Te same day u learn to wipe properly." FML
2DAY WANTING TO BREAK UP WITH MAH BOYFRIEND , I INVITD HIM TO DINNER WITH MAH PARENTS. I WAS SURE THEY'D HATE HIM , WHICH WOULD GIVE ME THE EXCUSE I NEEDD. THEY ENDD UP LOVING HIM , AND NOW THEY WON'T STOP MENTIONING MARRIAGE. FML
2DAY I SAW A PHOTO ON MAH MOTHER-IN-LAW'S FACEBOOK... PROUDLY SHOWING OFF THE HORRIBLE JOB SHE'D DONE OF PAINTING HER CAR. I SARCASTICALLY COMMENTD THAT I WOULDN'T INFLICT THAT ON MAH WORST ENEMY'S RIDE. AN HOUR LATER... SHE CUMMD BY AN EMPTID A BUCKET OF PAINT OVER MAH WINDSHIELD. FML
2day I found out that the little arrow next to mah gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been looool sticking mah head out the window an even calling mah parents to ask which side it was on... cuz I can never remember. FML
TODAY, I WENT TO PICK UP MY GODDAUGTER WILE ER MOTER WENT TO WORK . SE WAS BEING FUSSY, AND I WAS SURPRISD WEN SE WAS QUIET IN TE CAR; I JUST FIGURD SE'D FALLEN ASLEEP . I GOT TO MY OUSE AND REALIZD I'D NEVER PUT ER IN MY CAR, SE WAS STILL SITTING IN MY FRIEND'S DRIVEWAY . FML
Tadayhile waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdownhile his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me an said, "Can u believe this kid? I feel sorry 4 his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bled so I pluggd it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fre as well. FML
Friday 27 March 2015