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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (17653)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

#21014440
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38406) - you deserved it (16971)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46287) - you deserved it (16771)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (16752)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52187) - you deserved it (16614)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (16470)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

#21023769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (15789)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43365) - you deserved it (14921)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39253) - you deserved it (14641)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (14584)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57068) - you deserved it (13991)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I called my auto insurance company to try to get some discounts and lower my rate. I ended up adding $30 to my monthly payment. FML

#21021391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (13039)

On 01/08/2014 at 2:03pm - money - by Can2 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46835) - you deserved it (12692)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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