Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (5093)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (5052)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (5051)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51167) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46320) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53605) - you deserved it (4972)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (4950)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

#21030844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (4949)

On 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (4948)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (4944)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55449) - you deserved it (4938)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: