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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47931) - you deserved it (5542)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45003) - you deserved it (5494)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49964) - you deserved it (5490)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (5488)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (5488)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (5471)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42898) - you deserved it (5459)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51774) - you deserved it (5388)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42705) - you deserved it (5378)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5376)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you deserved it (5376)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49839) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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