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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (29828)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (29438)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43405) - you deserved it (29154)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53677) - you deserved it (22244)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (20316)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40793) - you deserved it (20070)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (18882)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43280) - you deserved it (18783)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (18569)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (18290)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (17681)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43879) - you deserved it (17210)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (17091)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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