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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37626) - you deserved it (7403)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

#20956268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (7284)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (7250)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47170) - you deserved it (7206)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57114) - you deserved it (7199)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (7173)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (7034)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (6884)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54702) - you deserved it (6820)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47793) - you deserved it (6761)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (6738)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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