Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (10235)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (9581)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (9557)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48838) - you deserved it (9502)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47281) - you deserved it (9402)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (9378)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60369) - you deserved it (9037)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (8847)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57691) - you deserved it (8778)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (8678)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: