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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (8689)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51868) - you deserved it (8575)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45582) - you deserved it (8309)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42582) - you deserved it (8231)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (8220)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (8212)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44371) - you deserved it (8206)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54569) - you deserved it (7952)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (7786)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41626) - you deserved it (7721)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39581) - you deserved it (7696)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (7654)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML

#20972860
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (7598)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:25pm - work - by firefromherlips - United States (Tennessee)



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