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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (13443)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, to make it seem like the customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came from my own pocket. FML

#20973265
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (12904)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:39am - work - by MicachuPikachu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42493) - you deserved it (12391)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50450) - you deserved it (12321)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49020) - you deserved it (12014)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (11942)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (11919)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53644) - you deserved it (11624)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44118) - you deserved it (11540)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46471) - you deserved it (11507)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (11236)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46552) - you deserved it (11233)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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