Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (4076)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55633) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43627) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (4026)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40978) - you deserved it (3982)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43610) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41484) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38829) - you deserved it (3958)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49927) - you deserved it (3941)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42058) - you deserved it (3935)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47410) - you deserved it (3932)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (3928)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: