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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML

#20972860
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33133) - you deserved it (7385)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:25pm - work - by firefromherlips - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44243) - you deserved it (7239)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (7169)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (7026)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

#20956268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37807) - you deserved it (7011)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45767) - you deserved it (7002)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54660) - you deserved it (6921)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38703) - you deserved it (6877)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40551) - you deserved it (6733)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53566) - you deserved it (6663)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42587) - you deserved it (6644)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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