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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, to make it seem like the customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came from my own pocket. FML

#20973265
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (11287)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:39am - work - by MicachuPikachu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (11197)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (10580)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43996) - you deserved it (10220)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (10142)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (10132)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (9926)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44733) - you deserved it (9902)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (9813)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (9792)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (9569)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (9498)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML



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