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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45430) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47311) - you deserved it (3362)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41836) - you deserved it (3351)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46029) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

#20933464
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40539) - you deserved it (3288)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (3267)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (3265)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47567) - you deserved it (3257)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54467) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50658) - you deserved it (3247)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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