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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38755) - you deserved it (3145)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45293) - you deserved it (3144)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43764) - you deserved it (3141)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

#20933464
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44143) - you deserved it (3114)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48189) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (3047)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45482) - you deserved it (3035)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (3027)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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